Xavier's World

Xavier's World
Sensual Words From A Sensual Heart

Friday, December 31, 2010

Death of a year…

 Dear 2011,

Seeing this may be the last year before the hole in the milky way rips completely open and swallow us, I would just like to say…thanks for the memories.  The food eaten, the music heard, the books read and most importantly…the lessons learned.
What’s that?  There is a hole in the milky way?
Well could someone tell the slightly hysterical library aide who told me this at 9:30 in the morning?  I was innocently, well as innocently as I ever do anything, shelving books like any good volunteer does while in library school when I ran into someone I was in class with…working at the library!  When asked when they would be done with school (a question you ask every person who is in grad school…repeatedly…because you always forget) I was told they would graduate in 2012, which just happened to be when the world would be ending.
I could only stand and stare, not at this persoen, but beyond them at the homeless man who was ransacking the dvd’s, the motley collection of cd’s and at the water spots on the ceiling…
“It’s always something,” was the best I could muster…
“Well, there’s a tear in the milky way and it will eventually rip wide open and swallow the universe as we know it…”
The homeless man was completely mixing “Meet Me in St. Louis,” with the collection of National Geographic documentaries…chaos reigns…Would the world end now?
I hadn’t even really had enough coffee to fully digest a tear in the milky way but there it was…
“well, just think,”  I said struggling to find an answer somewhere within the disarray of organization that is a library, finding none I could only add, “you’ll be doing what you love when the Armageddon hits, lucky you!”
Now why tell this story now on Dec 31st?  Who knows…perhaps its because the inane top10 lists that populate every cultural avenue and spread like plaque psoriasis have left me itchy for  a fresh start.  It is no surprise to me that Robyn’s Body Talk masterpiece has been on nearly every musical top 10 list that I have seen…I knew this was something special from the first moment I heard “Dancing on My Own,”
p.s. I’m putting everything in quotes because after finishing a piece of writing I feel absolutely entitled to break as many grammar rules as possible so lighten up.
I am not surprised that “Black Swan” is on the lists as one of the best movies either, I knew from the moment I saw the trailer that the movie would be amazing.  It amuses me that people don’t know and need a list to validate what choices they make during a year.
I also find it hilarious when people come to me, and they always do, and say “oh you know that movie, restaurant, shampoo, book, etc you told me about…it’s on so and so’s top 10 list!”
Great!
But darling this isn’t magic, I’m not psychic…well maybe a little…but honestly it’s simply that I listen to my instincts.  I don’t think we as a society listen to our guts, our instinct, our inner voices and maybe it is because the tear in the milky way is really a vacuum and has sucked our most primal sensitivities up into the night sky, if only to make us feel less when fire and brimstone comes raining down in2012…I have no idea!
So what will my resolutions be for the new year?  To love more, listen more, talk less, read more (if that’s possible) definitely write more (this is definitely possible) eat more, drink more, celebrate more, give more, indulge more, provoke more, dance more, exercise more…more more more..because kids who knows what the new year will bring?
Don’t save your favorite scent for some special occasion wear the hell out of it every day.  Break out the good dishes and for goodness sake if not for you, for me open that bottle of wine, champagne, what have you and drink it!  Drink it straight from the bottle and stuff a piece of Belgian in your mouth as well…this is not a dress rehearsal, and why that may be cliche it is true!  One time, one dance, one way, one journey…one one one…not 2…one…If you don’t know what to do with yourself and many of us don’t at one point or another do something for someone else…if you think you have nothing to give your wrong!  Don’t ask me to tell you what you have to give…you’ll figure it out.
I recently finished writing a piece that involved a sex scene with a loaded gun.  I found the danger and eroticism of this not only edgy and hot but also appropriate for the story.  I was stunned by the different reactions I got to it…some thought the gun shouldn’t be loaded…it smacked of terrorism and the Russian roulette of STD’s …others said the danger of a loaded gun was incredibly hot and erotic…I realized once rereading and rereading (which is what we writers do) that it really wasn’t a big deal whether the gun was loaded or not…it was the idea of the gun so I say this to say this…
Really reread your scripts this year, I know I will…you may find that what may have been a big deal to some may not be a big deal to you now…make sense?  Maybe not…it’s early and I’m only one cup of coffee in…draw from it what you will…
so as we move closer to 2012 and the tear in milky way may or may not destroy us all…I hope that 2011 is full of things for you to tear into, desires to indulge, food to eat, drinks to drink, new experiences to experience, kinks to iron out, books to read and songs to sing because this is life…and to quote  The World According to Garp by the fabulous John Irving, which I have been reading over the last year…”we are all terminal cases…”
Get over it and celebrate!





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